Sometimes I Doubt

Sometimes I mess up.
Sometimes I don't know what I am doing.
Most of the time I try to do the best thing, make the best choice, say the best words, dole out the right advice.  Some of the time, it turns out that it wasn't right.
Sometimes I know it's not right and I do it anyway.
Most of the time I do things that are best for you, my child.
Sometimes I realize it was really what was best for me - but all the time, I don't do that on purpose.

Sometimes I'm scared.  Sometimes I'm concerned. Sometimes I'm worried. Sometimes I'm terrified.
Sometimes I feel like the greatest Mom in the world - most of the time, I'm just winging it and hoping for the best.

Sometimes I base my parenting decisions on my own past - even though it is entirely different than your life.
Sometimes I base my parenting decisions on accumulated wisdom and experience, because I have learned, and I'm only trying to protect you and sometimes I second guess, afterwards, whether it was the right choice, despite that.
Sometimes I let you see my doubt.  Most of the time, I don't.

Sometimes I laugh at you because you are silly.  Sometimes I yell at you because I am weak.
Sometimes I smile at you because you are beautiful. Sometimes I cry because the time goes too fast.

Sometimes I am so proud of you.  Sometimes I am proud of myself.  Sometimes I am thankful that you are so perfect.
Sometimes I worry that you'll realize that I'm not.

Sometimes I wonder what you will be like in ten years.  Sometimes I remember what you were like ten years ago - which seems like yesterday.

Sometimes I am a really great Mom.  Sometimes I'm just a little girl, playing house, with real people, trying to do my best.

All the time.  All the time. All the time - I love you.

All. The. Time.

To my children ♥  Thank you for your patience, understanding, and love.

My Kids Will Not Use Facebook or Drink Starbucks: And Other Lies Parents Tell Themselves

Confession:
When my children were younger, and before they discovered social media, or had any desire to use any social media websites, I used to verbally lambaste the modern craze; and insist that children do not need to be connected to social media because it was potentially dangerous and unnecessary, and MY children do not and will not use it. (imagine with high-pitched, haughty windbag voice)

I was full of sh*t.  Well, the thing was that at the time, I wasn't.  I fully believed what I was saying, but I was naive,  The naivety however, wasn't insofar as motherhood inexperience, but simply in myself, not realizing that as much as I knew, I knew nothing; and as smart as I was, I wasn't.  And none of us are - no matter how much we are.  Confused?  Simply put: Life happens in phases and every phase brings a new set of circumstances to navigate with different landscape, different rules and different tools.  We learn as we go and intellectual arrogance is a faux pax.

But lets get back to the point...