The Hunt for Love

Mornings are quiet.  I'm an early riser, and we are homeschoolers so the kids usually sleep later than I do.  That's one of the perks a parent enjoys when the children approach the teen years: quiet mornings.  I admit however, that I often miss, with bittersweet and tender thoughts, the crazed mornings, waking up to the sounds of soft cries from a hungry infant, or the sweet sound of the toddlers whispering "Mama, wake up".  Alas every stage of parenthood has it's bittersweet memories as well as new pleasures.  So, I accept their slumber without needing me for immediate attention, as I transition into a life that welcomes me to concentrate on work, even if only for a couple of hours in the morning :)

This morning was different.  When I sat down to my computer this morning, I found a note on my keyboard, directing me to find another note, which directed me to another, and another.  It was a miniature scavenger hunt, laid out by my youngest, my eleven year old son.

What was the final destination? What was the final note?
I wondered if this was a cute way for him to ask for something.  What was it? Pancakes for breakfast? A drive to his friend's house?  A new app for his iPod?  No.  My child just wanted to tell me....
that he loves me.

Wrapped in the final note I found one of our glass coasters with the word "Love" imprinted.

So this post became my 'work' this morning, after I savored the moment, and being one of these people who like to express emotion in writing, my first task of the day is to share how extraordinarily lovely my little boy is and how meaningful and wonderful it is to be a Mom.


I also left a little note-hunt for him :)

Life is fun.  Life is good.

Confession:  I sometimes wonder about my sense of purpose, my talent and potential to contribute to the world, and then I realize that no matter what else I decide to do with my life as my kids become adults - being their Mama is more rewarding than any other endeavor - ever!

♥

I Let My Son Watch Porn

No I don't!  Don't be ridiculous!  Well, except I am sort of guilty anyway.

I have always been thoughtful about the entertainment choices that my children have made over the years, as well as what entertainment choices of mine they are exposed to.  For example, I didn't watch The Sopranos while they were around, until just recently and even had reservations about many of the episodes of Grey's Anatomy.  As they got older, of course, things change and I worry about it less.

There's a caveat though... a nuance... a variable...
My children are now 14, 13 and 11.  They are very close in age and so they are very close friends.  They are into many of the same things.  They like similar music, television and activities.  There are differences of course, but their overall exposure to the "world" pretty much takes place around the same time for them all.  Until recently, I didn't really think about this too much.   And then I did.

See, my oldest is a full-on teenager.  And the next is only younger by a mere 12.5 months.  The concepts, ideas, images and 'dark' sides of life are more palatable for her maturity level, than say... my  11 year old who actually likes being a kid.  I hear that the youngest clings to childhood longer... or maybe its us parents who inadvertently cause that.  Whatever the case may be, he's a kid.  He's a good kid.  And he likes being eleven.  This means that some of the things his older siblings do and discuss, are uncomfortable for him.  This became really obvious to me just recently.

It was a live show by a local, up and coming teen comedy theater troupe.  These young actors are brilliant and talented and FUNNY - and they push the envelope.  They run a PG-13 show and from what I'm told it is indeed rated correctly.   I knew this in advance, but was completely comfortable allowing all three kiddos to go and enjoy the show and support their friends.  Theater kids are really cool like that!

Well, the older two really enjoyed it and said it was hilarious.  The youngest... he was a little stunned upon pick up.  He later explained that he thought it was funny and that it was definitely a good show - but there were parts that made him uncomfortable.  I asked if he didn't understand some of it (was the humor perhaps going over his head?) Nope!  He understood alright and the tone, inflection and facial blushing revealed to me that he understood more than he wanted to.  Geeze! What kind of Mother am I anyway?   No it wasn't even close to pornographic - I just used a grabby headline and you know it!  Point is,  I owned the fact that I lumped them all together and enjoyed a night out at a bar while they were at the show (talk about feeling like worlds worst Mom eh?)  and apologized for making assumptions that unintentionally caused him discomfort.

Well, lesson learned.   There may not be much of a difference when they are 6,8 & 9 but there is quite a difference when they are 14, 13 and 11.   I suppose we'll stick to the pre-teen improv comedy and theater for him, for a while and let the two that are actually over 13 do the PG-13 shows... And I'm cool with that.

Thoughts?   Similar experiences?   We are supposed to be the Worlds Greatest!  It's a high standard to live up to!

Men Are Pigs! But not MY boys....

Confession:
When I was young and dating, whenever a relationship with a man went sour,  I was not immune to the common scorned female mantras, such as "men are stupid, men are pigs, men are... (insert any string of negative commentary).  I suppose it made us girls feel better to highlight a perceived flaw in a man that hurt or annoyed us, and then generalize.  I never actually believed that ALL men were stupid or impulsive or lazy or whatever... But I didn't think much about making grande generalizations.  I mean, we've all done it, right?

Well I have children now, and two of them are boys, very close to becoming young men.