My Kids Will Not Use Facebook or Drink Starbucks: And Other Lies Parents Tell Themselves

Confession:
When my children were younger, and before they discovered social media, or had any desire to use any social media websites, I used to verbally lambaste the modern craze; and insist that children do not need to be connected to social media because it was potentially dangerous and unnecessary, and MY children do not and will not use it. (imagine with high-pitched, haughty windbag voice)

I was full of sh*t.  Well, the thing was that at the time, I wasn't.  I fully believed what I was saying, but I was naive,  The naivety however, wasn't insofar as motherhood inexperience, but simply in myself, not realizing that as much as I knew, I knew nothing; and as smart as I was, I wasn't.  And none of us are - no matter how much we are.  Confused?  Simply put: Life happens in phases and every phase brings a new set of circumstances to navigate with different landscape, different rules and different tools.  We learn as we go and intellectual arrogance is a faux pax.

But lets get back to the point...

When it's time for me to eat my words - I eat them, own it and move on.  And I admit now that my distaste for the cultural phenomenon was based on my own myopic experience in colossal wasting of time and addictive yet pointless debates,  and my observations of the negative experiences of others.  Alas, just like many newfangled features to humanity, I became obsessively entrenched and used tools irresponsibly until I learned better.  And so it goes that I rode without training wheels, fell, scraped my knees, got pissed off, swore it was junk and then inevitably got back on the bike again, and rode more responsibly.  In Facebook language this means I avoid getting roped into the abysmal argument threads, and abusive non-discussions.

Here we are, my children are now 14, 13 and 11 and they use social media.  In fact they are gurus and use it better than I do!  I'm a self-admitted social media moron.  I understand it, I get it, I use it.  But I don't use it effectively or productively to grow my business, expand my base or reach more of those whom my work can benefit.   I'm sort of dumbfounded by how that happens and I am thinking of hiring my daughter to help me out there because the kid rocks Instagram with artsy photos of Starbucks and Converse and often pokes fun of me for lack of cohesive theme on my Instagram account. :-/  We're supposed to have a theme?  Who knew!?!?

Wait - Laurette Lynn, former Unplugged from the Matrix Mom, did you just say that YOUR child drinks Starbucks and wears Converse.

My Independent Beauty & Starbucks, Abercrombie & iPhone

Yes. And WHAT?
Yeah, yeah, I know.  But lets not forget that I'm the "former" Unplugged Mom.  Not that I've suddenly swallowed the blue pill or anything, but I'm more realistic about Motherhood and raising children in a contemporary world.  Too weak?  Okay here's the deal - the whole idea is to raise children who are clever, smart, savvy and independent; and that means that they make their own decisions, and can make them responsibly.  So my part in parenting is to make sure that they are equipped, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically, to make smart decisions - that are their own decisions - about living in the world that exists.  So here we are.  My children are on the precipice of adulthood and living in a world where social media and online presence is very much part of our culture, and they are making their own decisions about it BECAUSE I took an active role in their lives, we communicate openly and I'm right beside them as they learn to navigate each new phase and each new landscape of their lives... because they are always new for me too.



I think I get it now - parenting is a thing we do with our kids, not for them
Tweet This  

So there's that.  And if you have any ideas on how I can use social media for more than posting pics of my coloring hobby... that'd be great!  I hear that leaving comments on blog posts are REALLY helpful :-)

Thanks for reading...

A word about online safety -  Kids are going to use social media - I've decided rather than forbid it (which is sort of unreasonable) we discuss it and we learn and practice Internet safety.  Have there been issues?  Yes, but we dealt with it through discussion because communication is key to good parenting and that's for another post, so subscribe to stay posted :)